The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

The author of The People Are Going to Rise Upon Your Shore turns his keen eye to our current crisis of masculinity using his upbringing in a rural, patriarchal home as an entry point to consider the personal and societal dangers of performative gender Based on his provocative and popular New York Times op-ed, The Man They Wanted Me to Be is both memoir and cultural analysis The author of The People Are Going to Rise Upon Your Shore turns his keen eye to our current crisis of masculinity us...

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Title:The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making
Author:Jared Yates Sexton
Rating:
Genres:Nonfiction
ISBN:B07FJWTHZ7
Format Type:Kindle Edition

The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making Reviews

  • David
    Jul 05, 2019
    The general cultural, psychological, and economic commentary seemed on point to me but also widely available (alt-right is scary; people who boast all the time may be compensating for insecurities; suppressing "soft" [i.e., not anger] emotions might not in the end be terribly healthy f...
  • Sara
    Jun 16, 2019
    This book is mostly a memoir peppered with factoids about toxic masculinity and how it impacted the author?s life. It was an engaging book and a page turner. The narrative is occasionally choppy (at some point there?s a brother in law and I cannot remember mention on a sister.....
  • Jessica Sullivan
    Jun 25, 2019
    As the mother of a baby boy being raised into a world of Donald Trumps and Brett Kavanaughs, I feel a deep sense of responsibility to raise him right, and to me that means ensuring that he rejects toxic masculinity, both for his own good and for the good of everyone in his life. The...
  • Jose A
    May 16, 2019
    I'm sympathetic to his viewpoint. But really this is mostly a memoir of the various ways the author and most of the men he knows are toxic in their masculinity. I think books like this are a little tricky, using your own personal experience as a paragon for commenting on global ills ca...
  • Sarah
    May 11, 2019
    What's frustrating is the people who most need to read this, and would benefit from it, almost certainly won't. ...
  • kelly
    Jul 07, 2019
    This book should be essential reading for all men, especially in today's times. In "The Man They Wanted Me to Be," Jared Yates Sexton writes about his and his family's experiences throughout a lifetime legacy of toxic masculinity. Much of the first section focuses on the personal e...
  • Thomas
    May 05, 2019
    An essential book for destroying the patriarchy and creating better men for us all. In The Man They Wanted Me to Be, Jared Yates Sexton writes about his and his family's experience of toxic masculinity, the research showing toxic masculinity's negative health and relational consequence...
  • James
    Jun 12, 2019
    Well...it's a slog and no mistake. I respect that the author had a very difficult upbringing and the lessons that he took from it about men were come by honestly. Still...I don't believe in toxic masculinity. It's just jargon to describe the effects of poverty, substance abuse, PTSD...
  • Mitch
    Jul 03, 2019
    An important book for these chaotic and dangerous times. Sexton has written not only a powerful book, but also a necessary manual for all of us males who struggle everyday in this misogynist world of Trump. He rips the curtain aside and shows the American male as the raw, scared li...
  • Elisabeth
    May 21, 2019
    We need more books from straight cis men articulating their stake in ending patriarchy. There was plenty I didnt agree with here, and that?s fine ? I appreciate the model. Could be a great gift for white Christian brothers/dads/cousins coming into awareness of the ways toxic mascul...
  • Andy
    May 11, 2019
    The Man They Wanted Me to Be is one of the most critical works of non-fiction to come out this year, and it should be required reading for every American male. Mr. Sexton articulately captures the root problem for so many issues that plague society today: American culture has creat...
  • Nathan "N.R." Gaddis
    May 16, 2019
    I recommend women buy this book and then quietly place it upon the desk of any man or men in their life, no matter how she might believe that man is immured or not in toxic masculinity. And then serenade him with Born This Way :: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lga51... ...
  • Ian Rose
    Jul 14, 2019
    Probably the most important and personally impactful book I've read this year, along with David Wallace-Wells' Uninhabitable Earth. I belong to an identity that has caused an almost unfathomable amount of harm in my lifetime and before, and I like to think I'm beyond or above it, but S...
  • Aaron
    Jun 12, 2019
    It's everywhere when you know how to look for it. It's in the bullying, xenophobic power-grabs of old men in politics, in American government's negligent treatment of war veterans, even in some young men's reluctance to take AP classes in school for fear of being teased by their male p...
  • Meghan
    Jul 17, 2019
    I listened to this book vs reading it, which I regret. I never remember to timestamp interesting parts to return to or to research on my own to learn more about the particular facet the author is discussing. Absorbing and incredibly timely content. ...
  • Dan Downing
    Jun 03, 2019
    If one uses facts and hard data references, there is little to argue with here and little new. Most everything has been explained elsewhere. Mr. Sexton writes as well as the typical newspaper writer. Most of the book is his biography. After explaining the disastrous marriage in which h...
  • Matthew Noe
    Jun 05, 2019
    An essential read that I worry won't reach those who need it most. I don't post long reviews here much, so I'll leave it at saying this dredged up many memories and feelings in me... and that if it makes you need to talk, I'm here to listen. ...
  • Karma
    May 25, 2019
    This might deserve five stars, but it's really more of a book for men than women. I wish more men would read it, but they probably won't. Chapter 13 was particularly powerful. ...
  • Juan Bacigalupi
    May 30, 2019
    A fascinating look at the fragile image of strength most men try to project, how it is in display in spades with Trump?s supporters and how it is dangerous for our society and for the men at risk of suicide for failing to achieve this unachievable idea of what a man is. Highly recomm...
  • Tamara Dahling
    Jun 28, 2019
    The book traces Sexton?s life in small town Indiana, raised by his mother and a string of men who exhibit their masculinity with violence, bullying, anger. And Sexton explains why, which is the heart of his book. Having grown up in a similar environment, I can verify that he knows wh...
  • Rachel
    Jun 23, 2019
    While this book held my interest, I had expected a feminist piece with more concrete findings. Instead, this reads almost like a memoir. All but the last chapter are filled entirely with the author's own personal anecdotes of grappling with toxic masculinity. Which is interesting, but ...
  • Kathryn Gainey
    Jun 01, 2019
    This book was magnificent! I could have devoured this in one sitting and actually had to convince myself to slow down so I could enjoy it for a few more days. This book provided countless facts and examples of toxic masculinity in our culture and at times also served as a memoir. I esp...
  • David Wineberg
    Feb 13, 2019
    American Macho is Toxic The Man They Wanted Me To Be is a cathartic look at Jared?s Sexton?s life to date (He?s 38). It is a stinging condemnation of working-class white males and their attitudes. They control, berate and beat their wives and children, hate anything that doesn...
  • Kelly
    Jun 12, 2019
    Sexton doesn't offer answers to the problem of toxic masculinity. Instead, he delves into the personal and the worldly causes and effects. The book is, at times, heart wrenching, especially when Sexton shares about his complicated relationship with his father. It's also well researched...
  • Nicki Cartin
    Jun 01, 2019
    This book was absolutely amazing! I loved how detailed it was and how he used examples from people in his life rather than a pedantic, distant commentary on men. I saw so many of the men in my own life in this book and it made me feel more prepared to support my son as he grows up. Eve...
  • Eric
    May 28, 2019
    A moving memoir and solid overview of the myth and paradoxically vulnerable foundations of hyper-masculinity and the danger it poses to men, women and our political future; along with some thoughts on a way out of our current societal bind. ...
  • Tyler Jones
    Jun 08, 2019
    Sexton's approach to modern day toxic masculinity in America consists of personal stories through a feminist and phenomenological lens. These stories contain emotional and physical abuse, struggles with disordered eating habits, and suicide attempts. IF YOU ARE IN A PLACE WHERE THOSE S...
  • Trek
    Jun 02, 2019
    This might quite possibly be one of the most important books to can read this year. Sexton uses his own upbringing in southern Indiana to dive into the issues facing men of all ages, from little boys to grandparents. Drawing parallels to the patriarchy that brought about the rise of Tr...
  • Blas Olavarrieta
    Jul 08, 2019
    If you don't want to look like the guys who loved this book: sad, weak, depressed, EMASCULATED start doing things for MACHOS! ha ha it was just a load of proggressive crap, but i laughed really loud while i was reading this, but you know what? i laughed even more when i saw the guys co...
  • Azhar
    May 24, 2019
    Part memoir, part critical analysis on the actions and origins of masculine behavior. It's a good book and definitely worth a read. ...